It is said when all the doors around you were shut - in front, behind, left and right - you only had 2 ways left: went above or went below. And I thought I was on my way going under, through the valley of the shadow of death, while living the rest of my life in misery and pain. It was at this point, things that were important to me: my successful career and pursuit of material life, suddenly became less important.
I had a flash back in my mind on how I'd lived my life in the past few years. I neglected my family for my career. Even during the family time, I'd busy with my blackberry rather than spending quality time with the ones who loved me. I couldn't even remember the last time I read my bible. I had unconsciously became a selfish man who thought too highly about myself, that all the success were because of my own ability. It's like a new revelation was unveiled. I realized the most important things actually were those who had loved us dearly, God and our families.
I had to re-arrange my priorities in life. I tried to live by day and not to worry too much about my future. I put my future in God's good hand, and no longer in myself or other men. I prayed that I would get a new job that would allow me to spend times with my loved ones. I was more than willing to take less pay for such job.
It was then, when I no longer trying with my own strength, I got re-connected with an ex-boss. Starting with an informal chat, it continued with interviews, and I ended up getting a job offer. I wasn't having high hope and was already preparing myself for a significant pay cut if I got the job. But hey, alas, it wasn't much a pay cut when I finally got the offer. Indeed with the variable bonus, the overall package would be better than my existing job.
These verses below about Peter, the fisherman, described exactly how I felt after failing many times applying for jobs:
"When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, 'Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' But Simon answered and said to Him, 'Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.' And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking." - Luke 5:4-6 NKJV
I also received another good news about my health. I was referred to a specialist to check further on my urine condition. I was asked to do another round of test. The waiting for the result was like an eternity to me, though it's just for a week. I really prayed for a good result to come out, so I could still work and wouldn't be a burden to my family. When the result finally came out, the specialist discharged me as he found nothing wrong in my urine test.
To be continued ...